this is a pretty common question I come across–is it possible for a marriage to survive infidelity?
the answer is a definite yes. tons of relationships survive infidelity. I think the bigger question is if your relationship can survive infidelity (assuming the person is asking because their partner cheated)
I’ve heard people say things like: “there’s no way to ever rebuild trust after something like that, and even if the people stayed together, it would never be the same”
I agree with the second part: “things will not be the same” … because for a relationship to heal from betrayal like that, the relationship needs to be stronger than it was before, and it should never go back to the way it was when one of the people cheated
infidelity is the symptom of an unhealthy relationship. I am not blaming the person who was cheated on, and this is not an excuse for infidelity. I am saying that keeping the relationship happy, healthy is a preventative measure. One, because when both people are happy and satisfied, no one in their *right mind would go and ruin that. Two, if a person was cheating in the midst of a happy and intimate relationship, their partner should be able to detect that something is not right, and they would sense that the cheater has emotionally pulled away.
The asterisk in front of “right mind”–the people who cheat despite being in a happy, fulfilling relationship are probably sex addicts or have some other mental problem. Think about that, right? Normal, psychologically healthy people would not sabotage their relationship like that, even if they were faced with temptations and slippery situations.
Most all of sex addict’s spouses did not suspect anything was going on, because most all sex addicts are masters at hiding their problem. I would also say that it is common that sex addicts actually deeply desire an intimate, loving relationship, so they actually are very motivated to “protect” their marriage by hiding and lying. Addictions are not moral problems, they are indeed mental problems. What sane person would do that, seriously?
Conclusion: if there is infidelity, there is hope you can save your marriage, and it means there is lots of repairing and improvement that will go along with the forgiving. The end goal is to create a happier relationship, not just to stay together for the sake of the children. If the actual problem is a sex addiction (or a sex-and-love addiction), then there definitely needs to be professional help.